Architecture Jokes

Unele mai seci ca altele... aproape de neinteles daca nu esti in breasla =))

Cateva exemple:

Q: What did the architect say when he was unsure if he'd picked up the right pencil of not?
A: 2B or not 2B?

Q: How are buildings shown in the architectural bible?
A: Plans, sections and revelations.

Q:How do you stop silly cars from driving in the wrong lane of the road?
A: With silly cone.

Q: What do geometry obsessed architects drink?
A: Tea square.

Q: What was the name of the negatavist brother of a famous American architect?
A: Louis Kahn't.

...more at http://www.architecturejokes.com/ ENJOY!

GIFT Post

Un cadou pentru surioara mea :*

Public Service Announcement

Warning! This is a public service announcement brought to you by ME! Please take caution in identifying the CORRECT Spartaaaa!

Thank you and take care ^^

Top 100 Facts about me

Dupa ce a trecut ceva vreme de la aparitia acestui blog...m-am gandit ca ar fi corect din partea mea sa mai dezvalui cateva lucruri despre mine.

Top 100 Facts About Aleks

1. When Aleks goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
2. Aleks can delete the Recycling Bin.
3. Aleks can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
4. Aleks does not sleep. He waits.
5. Aleks was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
6. Whenever Aleks plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
7. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Aleks says its beef, then it's beef.
8. When Aleks deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.
9. On his birthday, Aleks randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
10. Aleks beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
11. Aleks and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
12. Superman owns a pair of Aleks pajamas.
13. Aleks can speak braille.
14. Aleks once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Aleks was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
15. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Aleks.
16. Aleks sleeps with a night light. Not because Aleks is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Aleks
17. Aleks has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
18. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Aleks, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
19. Aleks's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Aleks.
20. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Aleks could use to kill you, including the room itself.
21. On a high school math test, Aleks put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Aleks solves all his problems with Violence.
22. Aleks destroyed the periodic table, saying Aleks only recognizes the element of surprise.
23. Aleks is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
24. The word "lesbian" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "She who has not yet been introduced to Aleks."
25. Aleks is the only one who can "try this at home."
26. Aleks owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
27. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Aleks's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
28. Aleks counted to infinity - twice.
29. Aleks always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
30. When Aleks gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
31. Aleks once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
32. Aleks can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.
33. Aleks has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
34. Aleks puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
35. Aleks invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.
36. Aleks died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
37. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Aleks punched himself in the face.
38. Aleks can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
39. You are what you eat. That is why Aleks's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
40. Circles exist because Aleks beat the crap out of some squares.
41. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Aleks and forgot to pay him back.
42. The last man who made eye contact with Aleks was Ray Charles.
43. Aleks wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
44. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Aleks's house one Christmas.
45. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Aleks can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
46. Only once has Aleks ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
47. Aleks was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
48. Onions do not make Aleks cry. Aleks makes onions crap themselves.
49. When Aleks gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
50. Weeping Willows are a result of Aleks yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
51. Crop circles are Aleks's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
52. Aleks knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
53. Once a cobra bit Aleks's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
54. Aleks doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Aleks.
55. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Aleks wins.
56. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Aleks was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
57. Aleks was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
58. Aleks does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Aleks goes killing.
59. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Aleks.
60. Aleks invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
61. Aleks can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
62. Aleks is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
63. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Aleks is going to walk.
64. Aleks can make a paraplegic run for his life.
65. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Aleks has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
66. Aleks can slam revolving doors.
67. Aleks can tie his shoes with his feet.
68. Aleks once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
69. Aleks sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
70. Aleks is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.
71. Giraffes were created when Aleks uppercutted a horse.
72. Aleks doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
73. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Aleks ate Kobayashi.
74. Aleks does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction
75. Aleks doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
76. Aleks can kill two stones with one bird.
77. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Aleks has found too chewy to eat.
78. When Aleks plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
79. Aleks's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Aleks will not take crap from anyone.
80. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Aleks allows to live.
81. Aleks is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
82. Aleks doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
83. If Aleks wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
84. Aleks is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
85. Aleks can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
86. Aleks became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.
87. Aleks had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Aleks went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.
88. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Aleks laughing at you.
89. Aleks's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.
90. Aleks once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however Aleks still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.
91. Aleks played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
92. Aleks irons his shirts while he's wearing them.
93. Getting murdered by Aleks counts as a natural cause of death.
94. When Aleks enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
95. Aleks used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
96. The only time Aleks was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
97. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Aleks and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
98. Aleks's blood type is WD-40.
99. Aleks was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
100. Aleks does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

*Special* ptr Ralukutza

My "Visual Art"

Salutare dragii mei prieteni! Avand in vedere ca lucrurile au inceput sa mearga mai bine incepand de azi, m-am gandit ca ar fi frumos din partea mea sa mai postez ceva. Stiu ca va doriti sa cititi ceva frumos si amuzant dar in afara de cearta intre un copil de 8 ani si mama lui in care cea din urma zbiera la el in statia de metrou ...*

"- Esti un idiot! Un idiot , mah! Alo? Da, (vecina ce tb sa stie totul), da, fata... uite ce sa fac... sunt la metrou... si vin de la Carrefour unde idiotul asta mic a desfacut ambalajul la o zgarda anti-pureci, CU DINTII! Pai normal k acum trec pe la spital cu el...! E un IDIOT, asta e!
- Dar nu am nimic!
- Taci, idiotule! Zi mai bine daca ai simtit cumva o substanta pe limba?
- Ce substanta?
- EU DE UNDE DRAQ SA STIU? TU ESTI IDIOTUL CARE A DESFACUT AMBALAJUL DE LA ZGARDA AIA CU DINTII!!! GURA NU E WC-u MAH! Sa stii si tu asta !"

***
... nu am altceva. Asa k o sa postez cateva poze cu "noul" meu hobby... astept nishte critici pozitive...ahh pardon...constructive ;)

Fara alte introduceri... "Caligraphy... by me"

Cum sa scrii frumos, Alina...
Asta a fost cu dedicatie ... azi ... de Dragobete a fost ziua lui Teo... "La multi ani, maestre!"

Cum sa te iscaleshti *ador cuvantul asta*

Top 10 Reasons Why to Date an Architect

In sfarsit , iata-le! Cele mai bune 10 motive pentru a te cupla cu un arhitect! 50% of the credits go to Matei! 10x and keep up the good work! :D Succes tuturor cu predarea! ;)

1. all night long, all night strong
2. we are damn good with our hands.
3. if we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. you should see the things we errect
5. use to doing things over and over again.
6. finishing early never happenes
7. we know the true meaning of interpretation
8. creative positioning.
9. work well in groups
10. entry and passage are always exciting

Comments always welcome...